im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
