i already hear my dad disowning me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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