we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This house was built for laser tag.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
