Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he told me I talked like a deaf person
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
