last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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