Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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