I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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