That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
