operation harelip BJ is a go
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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