It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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