Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
