i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
