You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
