he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
