super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
