i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
