I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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