I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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