i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I deserve this hangover.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
