am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
