Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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