I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
