im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
