This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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