ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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