I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
try to milk me bitch
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