how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
