bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
