Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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