if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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