I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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