At least make sure they are 18
Why
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
