I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
