I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My vagina just clenched in fear
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