At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize