i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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