Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
