i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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