I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
