i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
