Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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