my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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