So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
