it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
