I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
