you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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