I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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