i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
