i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ladies don't puke and tell
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
