i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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