Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize