I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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