new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
