Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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