Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
