does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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